This week, I received a very special package.
It's funny, because I'm actually not all that emotional of a birthmom. Sometimes I feel like I should be more sentimental. It was different right after placement. For awhile, I had pictures of my son all over my room, I slept with the quilt his parents made for a placement gift, and I frequently looked through photos I had of him. I don't really do those things anymore. It's not because I don't love him, it's just because I moved forward with my life and my adoption experience is no longer all-encompassing.
However, when I received this package in the mail, I was feeling VERY emotional for a while, in a wonderful, wonderful way.
I received a packet of Ian's arts and crafts from his preschool classes. Pictures he had drawn or colored, little paper crafts. And on almost every single one there's a post-it note, with a transcription of Ian's words explaining the pictures. Telling me he likes this dinosaur's long neck, or this is a dog with a pointy head.
I felt like a mom. Or maybe a proud aunt. I dunno. I've never gotten anything quite like this before, and it changed my perspective just a little bit. Suddenly it was okay for me to feel like that, to want to put my birthson's drawings up on the fridge (I refrained, for the sake of my roommates), to show off his accomplishments, to show off HIM. It was all I could do not to parade around with his pictures and pictures of HIM. I was overwhelmed with adoption-birthmom-love.
The pictures are sitting on my desk at home. Everytime I walk past that little stack, I smile. This was seriously one of the best presents I've ever gotten. I love being a birthmom!