If this blog offends anybody, I apologize, but not that much. I'm entitled to my own opinion, right? You're welcome to share yours in the comments if you feel so inclined.
Today I'd like to briefly discuss Birth Mother's Day. I heard of this for the first time last year. It's celebrated the day before Mother's Day, as the same equivalent for birth mothers. Last year I knew a bunch of people who participated in a walk down in Provo to mark Birth Mother's Day. I've met a fair number of adoptive parents who really support and push this day, who encourage others to send cards and gifts to their birth mothers to mark this day in particular.
I don't like Birth Mother's Day.
On the one hand, I appreciate the efforts of adoptive parents who want to celebrate their birth mothers. I love that their birth mothers are prominent in their thoughts and hearts, and that they feel like we deserve our very own day to celebrate. However, by celebrating Birth Mother's Day the day before Mother's Day, by encouraging adoptive parents to celebrate this day and make a special event out of this day, I personally feel excluded from Mother's Day.
Now, I recognize that I am not Ian's parent, that I am not raising him, that I made the choice to place him with his parents. I acknowledge in full Jen's place as his mother. But I feel that this does not diminsh my own sense of motherhood. On Mother's Day, I don't make a big deal of things. But I still honor Ian in my heart. I still celebrate my own motherhood, and my decision to place him for adoption.
I don't need my own day. I don't need to be separate. I don't want to be separate. I don't want to feel like I'm less of a mother because I chose to place him for adoption, because he's not with me. My choices were made for the benefit of my son. I am a mother.
So on Birth Mother's Day, forgive me if I'm not there with you celebrating . I'll see you on Mother's Day.