Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Next I will be Raphael

Today, I Google-chatted with my son's adoptive father (gosh I hate those distinctions...I want to just say "Ian's dad" except when I do that sometimes people think I mean Ian's biological father, and those rare days when I talk to him are always a little strange...suffice it to say that I mean Ian's father).

We talked about Christmas. He asked how mine was. I asked how his was. He told me what Ian's most favorite presents were (and they made me laugh...Ian is an odd child sometimes). I asked Joe what his favorite presents were--it included an extension cord, which is very Joe. He asked me what my favorite presents were, and I told him that I had gotten weapons for Christmas, so I can start taking the weapons class at Taekwondo.

Joe asked me which Ninja Turtle I will be next.

I had to confess that I've never really watched the TMNT so I had no idea. He promptly sent me a picture of the ninja turtles baring their weapons and we consulted over their names. After settling on which weapons I will be studying next, we politely discussed when our next video chat might be and went on our merry ways.

I just have to tell you...I'm glad that Ian has a daddy like Joe. =)

Monday, December 14, 2009

Christmas adventures

Over at my other blog, I wrote a post complaining about the more stressful aspects of Christmas. One of these includes finding the "perfect gift" for certain important people in my life.

Adoption complicates this again.

(Dear Jen...I'm talking about you. You might want to stop reading.)

First of all, there's nobody more important in my life than my son. There will one day be people of equal importance--my future spouse and children. But for now, I have Ian. So obviously I want to do something really special for him each year on Christmas and his birthday.

However, I struggle. Because while I have an open adoption, I still don't have a parent-child relationship with this young boy. I don't know him all that well, really. I am told of certain of his likes and dislikes, but our relationship is still mainly at a distance. Which makes it difficult. (Also, not know what he already has makes it a challenge.)

Furthermore, I have a deep love and appreciation for his parents, and an honest friendship as well. So obviously I want to do something special for them as well. However--and Jen will admit this, I think--they are not necessarily the easiest people to shop for!

What do you give people with whom you share this kind of bond? Honestly, adoption is such a unique and fascinating relationship, unlike any other. How do you decide upon the perfect gift for such people?

No idea.

However, I still hope to come up with something--if not perfect--at least special and heartfelt. Mostly, I just want them all to know how very much I love them. I guess that's what Christmas is really about, right?

Friday, December 4, 2009

Guest blog

Life has been so crazy lately! Busy busy busy. Work. Taekwondo. Boyfriend. Life. You know how it goes. I haven't been blogging as much as I normally do, as much as I would like to. But--life is good, and adoption still rocks my socks. ;)

I had the great priviledge of writing a guest blog about my keynote address from the conference in October. The chapter of FSA in Virginia had many members that weren't able to attend, so they asked me to share some of my experiences. After some consideration, I decided to recreate as closely as possible my keynote address from the conference. I felt as though the impressions I had might be of some value. If they are of interest to you as well, the post can be found here. It's pretty spiritually based, but the message is founded in my love of open adoption.