Monday, July 6, 2009

The Scary Things

I believe in open adoption with all my heart. I think it's the most healthy choice, for the child, for the birth parents, and for the adoptive parents.

Does that make it easy? Definitely not.

I think that I have been very, very lucky when it comes to my adoption experiences. On the first hand, I had loving birth parents, and loving adoptive parents, and loving siblings. Sure, we've all had our hard times. But I've been very blessed in my family.

And then there was the placement of my own son. Again, I was very lucky. My parents, though they struggled with the situation, were supportive of my decision to place my baby for adoption. The birth father was similarly supportive. I had a case worker with LDS Family Services who cared and who guided me through the decisions I had to make, without judging me or forcing me to take any action I was uncomfortable with. He helped me to follow through the decisions that I knew were right for me and my baby.

But no matter how prepared you are, no matter how firm your decision is, placing a baby for adoption is still an act of faith. You have faith that the adoptive family are good people. You have faith that they will love your baby as much as they would love their own flesh and blood. You have faith that they will raise your child better than you could. You have faith that your child will be happy, and have a good life. You have faith that the adoptive couple will keep in touch the way they say that they will. You have faith that your child will grow up knowing that you loved him, even though you placed him for adoption.

I would never advise someone to place their baby for adoption unless they were sure it was the right decision. This is too big a decision to be unsure. But even still, I would tell you to have faith. Trust your instincts, and listen to the advice of counselors and good parents. Do your research, make sure you know--as much as anyone CAN know--what is coming. But above all, have faith that you will know what is best for your baby, and for you. It is scary, and it will be the most difficult decision you will have to make. But you will know if it's the right thing to do.

1 comment:

  1. Sometimes it can be hard to have the faith. Thanks for writing.