Secondhand stories are sometimes difficult to relate, so bear with me. Yesterday I was talking to my friend Melissa about a conversation she had with one of her other friends (we'll call her Christy). They had been playing Imagine If... and the question was what Christy would do with her baby if she got pregnant. Melissa automatically assumed that she would place it for adoption, but Christy protested that she would keep her baby, as if this were the only logical asnwer. She then proceeded to say that people who gave up their babies for adoption didn't love their babies like she would love hers.
This is a secondhand story. I do know Christy, though not well. But even secondhand from a friend-of-a-friend, it still kind of ticked me off. Of all misconceptions about adoption, this one rubs me the worst.
Birthmothers love their babies. Birthmothers usually love their babies more than anything else in the entire world; certainly more than they love themselves. I've met quite a few birthmoms in the past couple of years, and I've yet to meet one who didn't love her baby LIKE CRAZY. To say that a birthmother does not love her baby is to say that they could live without air or water. Just not happening.
You know what one of my biggest pet peeves is?
People who speak in ignorance.
Placing my son for adoption was THE hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Ever. I wouldn't be surprised if it's the hardest thing I will EVER have to do in my life. I don't regret my decision in the slightest. But that doesn't mean it was easy. And it certainly doesn't mean that I didn't/don't love him. I think about him all the time. I hope he's doing well. I look at his pictures and videos, and read his mom's blog. I'm not obsessed. But I'm still a mother. I still care and worry and hope for him. Because I love him. I will always love him.
I am not an incubator. I am a birth mother.